








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1887 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1459 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1792 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1333 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,685 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myllymäen Timo | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | jasser arafat | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Veltto | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | Olii | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | :3 | 47% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Veltto | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | Olii | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | :3 | 47% | 90 |
| #6 | NÄSTY | 47% | 73 |
| #7 | Topsuuu | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olii | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | NÄSTY | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Veltto | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Myllymäen Timo | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | jasser arafat | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NÄSTY | 349 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | :3 | 312 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Topsuuu | 293 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Olii | 247 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Veltto | 209 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NÄSTY | +0.96 | 69 | 68 |
| #2 | :3 | +0.49 | 70 | 72 |
| #3 | Olii | +0.42 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | Veltto | +0.04 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | faltsu | +0.01 | 67 | 70 |





