








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 956 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 264 matches | ||
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 145 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3954 | 17% |
| Smokes | 8161 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 6239 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4419 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,988,298 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bratwurstzorro | 51% | 503 |
| #2 | prOdolwa | 49% | 635 |
| #3 | Kai Uwe | 47% | 338 |
| #4 | eyecatcher | 45% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bratwurstzorro | 51% | 503 |
| #2 | prOdolwa | 49% | 635 |
| #3 | Kai Uwe | 47% | 338 |
| #4 | eyecatcher | 45% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bratwurstzorro | 14 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | prOdolwa | 9 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Kai Uwe | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | eyecatcher | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prOdolwa | 704 | 0.06 | 18 min |
| #2 | Bratwurstzorro | 626 | 0.06 | 20 min |
| #3 | Kai Uwe | 196 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #4 | eyecatcher | 118 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimeN | +3.36 | 64 | 70 |
| #2 | prOdolwa | -0.55 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | Bratwurstzorro | -0.68 | 42 | 62 |
| #4 | eyecatcher | -3.27 | 40 | 55 |
| #5 | Kai Uwe | -4.24 | 29 | 37 |





