








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 184 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4296 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6631 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5075 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3910 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,372,526 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 60% | 102 |
| #2 | Andi-mage | 59% | 71 |
| #3 | Hey, Listen! | 57% | 162 |
| #4 | Seagull | 55% | 310 |
| #5 | [18e] Chriseh™ | 53% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Zappy | 53% | 49 |
| #7 | jim | 53% | 104 |
| #8 | Bovine-simian | 50% | 169 |
| #9 | Brendenbak | 50% | 279 |
| #10 | Haza | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [18e] Chriseh™ | 38 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | Brendenbak | 22 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Seagull | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | jim | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Hey, Listen! | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brendenbak | 510 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | [18e] Chriseh™ | 484 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #3 | Bovine-simian | 394 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hey, Listen! | 381 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Seagull | 367 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [18e] Chriseh™ | +2.99 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Sky | +2.63 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Hey, Listen! | +0.20 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | Seagull | +0.02 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | Brendenbak | -0.10 | 76 | 52 |





