








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2343 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2687 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2398 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2764 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,030 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Seagull | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | [18e] Chrisehâ„¢ | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Sky | 53% | 104 |
| #5 | Brendenbak | 52% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brendenbak | 18 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | [18e] Chrisehâ„¢ | 8 | 0.0210 |
| #3 | Sky | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Seagull | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Zappy | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brendenbak | 527 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sky | 204 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zappy | 174 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Golden | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | [18e] Chrisehâ„¢ | 84 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sky | +2.14 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | [18e] Chrisehâ„¢ | +1.46 | 80 | 72 |
| #3 | Seagull | +0.80 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | Brendenbak | +0.72 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | jim | +0.21 | 57 | 63 |





