








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1200 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1269 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 917 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1329 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,724 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jim | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Zappy | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Golden | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Andi-mage | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Seagull | 54% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sky | 50% | 169 |
| #8 | Chris | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | [18e] Chrisehâ„¢ | 50% | 40 |
| #10 | Brendenbak | 43% | 107 |
| #11 | Haza | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [18e] Chrisehâ„¢ | 17 | 0.0209 |
| #2 | Brendenbak | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Sky | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Seagull | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Hey, Listen! | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sky | 290 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Hey, Listen! | 244 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | [18e] Chrisehâ„¢ | 233 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #4 | Brendenbak | 181 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Seagull | 169 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sky | +3.18 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | [18e] Chrisehâ„¢ | +2.98 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Golden | +0.73 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | Zappy | +0.40 | 66 | 65 |
| #5 | Hey, Listen! | +0.35 | 75 | 58 |





