








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 310 | 20% |
| Smokes | 404 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 398 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 407 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,359 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaggi | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Rejin[9] | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Noxos | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | Tordenkile | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | dD-.- | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dD-.- | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | BR1X | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tordenkile | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | fandanGO | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | FL1X | 30 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaggi | +2.34 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | dD-.- | +2.26 | 59 | 75 |
| #3 | fandanGO | +1.93 | 94 | 62 |
| #4 | Rejin[9] | +1.48 | 87 | 77 |
| #5 | BR1X | +0.98 | 77 | 58 |





