








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1504 | 30% |
| Smokes | 867 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1490 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1080 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,307 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MajorLeagueGoober | 68% | 38 |
| #2 | MBowers | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | cur1ous | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | MiaRose24 | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | TheTinCan | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Custer | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | apolloh | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ricky | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Way | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | MenTaL | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apolloh | 404 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | TheTinCan | 262 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | MenTaL | 212 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Custer | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | MajorLeagueGoober | 151 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apolloh | +5.21 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | MajorLeagueGoober | +1.88 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | Way | +1.69 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | MBowers | -0.48 | 47 | 55 |
| #5 | cur1ous | -0.59 | 75 | 64 |





