








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1766 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2320 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1967 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1575 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,499 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nallen | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Jack | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | H.O.L.K.E.N | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Léexi | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | TheGoth-HackeR.exe | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nallen | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | TheGoth-HackeR.exe | 70 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | H.O.L.K.E.N | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Léexi | 31 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | SexyHuB | 31 | 0.18 | 2 min |





