








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9653 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7714 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5147 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5273 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,053,239 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiwi | 89% | 74 |
| #2 | Bobbydicason ✌ | 75% | 59 |
| #3 | furrypotter | 72% | 138 |
| #4 | legend-R35 | 70% | 56 |
| #5 | BluFF | 66% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real | 22 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | ✪ Mrtwofeet | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | precog` | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | BluFF | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | furrypotter | 6 | 0.0022 |





