








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1262 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 291 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,664 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16751 | 35% |
| Smokes | 14444 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8912 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7557 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,911,217 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1098 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | millsy | 57% | 149 |
| #2 | monk | 51% | 215 |
| #3 | Spicy Vaseline | 47% | 218 |
| #4 | Blevsze | 45% | 298 |
| #5 | sweet meat | 45% | 525 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | monk | 51% | 215 |
| #3 | Spicy Vaseline | 47% | 218 |
| #4 | Blevsze | 45% | 298 |
| #5 | sweet meat | 45% | 525 |
| #6 | rahvin #GSU | 44% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sweet meat | 21 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Blevsze | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Spicy Vaseline | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | millsy | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | monk | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sweet meat | 1214 | 0.11 | 30 min |
| #2 | millsy | 797 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #3 | monk | 618 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | Spicy Vaseline | 509 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #5 | rahvin #GSU | 482 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | millsy | +3.60 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | monk | +1.46 | 68 | 53 |
| #3 | Ktulu #GSU | +0.47 | 52 | 62 |
| #4 | rahvin #GSU | +0.37 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | Spicy Vaseline | +0.20 | 69 | 53 |





