








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 638 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 161 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6518 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3433 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 9245 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 11117 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,896,142 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daikon | 58% | 103 |
| #2 | millsy | 57% | 81 |
| #3 | monk | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Ilya | 48% | 206 |
| #5 | Blevsze | 46% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | monk | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Ilya | 48% | 206 |
| #5 | Blevsze | 46% | 241 |
| #6 | Ktulu #GSU | 45% | 525 |
| #7 | Incredible Chunk | 39% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ktulu #GSU | 30 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Ilya | 26 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Blevsze | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | millsy | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | monk | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ktulu #GSU | 1518 | 0.14 | 39 min |
| #2 | Ilya | 739 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | millsy | 445 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #4 | Daikon | 348 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | monk | 307 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ilya | +5.81 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | millsy | +3.88 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | monk | +2.01 | 69 | 52 |
| #4 | Ktulu #GSU | +1.64 | 54 | 62 |
| #5 | Daikon | +1.53 | 54 | 62 |





