








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 529 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1718 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3374 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 1581 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,798,075 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henning Trade | 52% | 93 |
| #2 | Raute | 51% | 169 |
| #3 | esk0 | 51% | 102 |
| #4 | santa | 50% | 137 |
| #5 | Mondy | 48% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jensito22 | 752 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | Mr. Pink | 415 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | Gh0$t0R | 381 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Raute | 346 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | esk0 | 226 | 0.11 | 7 min |





