








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1460 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1661 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 937 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1607 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,795 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dumezki | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | Jortsu | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Soigelo | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | Kakefuri | 61% | 33 |
| #5 | Jöööns MO | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | war elephantS ☭ | 143 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | M4nn3 | 125 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gnuut | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kakefuri | 106 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | iLATE | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jöööns MO | +3.37 | 63 | 74 |
| #2 | Vulle | +2.27 | 62 | 53 |
| #3 | saag | +1.48 | 65 | 69 |
| #4 | iLATE | +1.40 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | M4nn3 | +0.87 | 67 | 72 |





