








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1017 | 27% |
| Smokes | 778 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1454 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 486 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,739 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raseptimus Prime | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | JimPapi | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Oscar | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Rex | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | Rolf | 57% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Jag heter Mattias | 52% | 33 |
| #11 | 𓆩Åꞩꞩᵯⱥꞥ𓆪 | 49% | 43 |
| #12 | dinmammaglad | 47% | 64 |
| #13 | Carl-Arne Örn! LEGENDARISK ÖRN! | 44% | 18 |
| #14 | FullkornsBobVall | 43% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FullkornsBobVall | 35 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | Rolf | 24 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | beppesh | 13 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | 𓆩Åꞩꞩᵯⱥꞥ𓆪 | 13 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | dinmammaglad | 10 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | 467 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Pomppi | 289 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | beppesh | 233 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | dinmammaglad | 206 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Raseptimus Prime | 116 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | +4.69 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | dinmammaglad | +4.67 | 80 | 72 |
| #3 | 𓆩Åꞩꞩᵯⱥꞥ𓆪 | +1.88 | 70 | 50 |
| #4 | kraa | +1.15 | 58 | 49 |
| #5 | Pomppi | +0.72 | 51 | 58 |





