








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 653 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1187 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 767 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 614 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,041 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 534 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | broN | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Oscar | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | Pomppi | 48% | 54 |
| #4 | kraa | 43% | 92 |
| #5 | Rolf | 43% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | beppesh | 39% | 69 |
| #10 | Rex | 39% | 41 |
| #11 | Jag heter Mattias | 35% | 31 |
| #12 | JimPapi | 33% | 15 |
| #13 | Eddie | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | 33 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | beppesh | 14 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | kraa | 12 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Rex | 12 | 0.0146 |
| #5 | 𓆩Åꞩꞩᵯⱥꞥ𓆪 | 8 | 0.0144 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | 434 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Pomppi | 260 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | beppesh | 150 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Raseptimus Prime | 108 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #5 | dinmammaglad | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dinmammaglad | +5.91 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | Rolf | +5.08 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | 𓆩Åꞩꞩᵯⱥꞥ𓆪 | +3.03 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | broN | +2.35 | 33 | 57 |
| #5 | Pomppi | +1.56 | 50 | 62 |





