








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1152 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1639 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1687 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1657 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,086,058 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 411 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ✪ Simphohou | 49% | 86 |
| #11 | Raseptimus Prime | 47% | 15 |
| #12 | FullkornsBobVall | 42% | 26 |
| #13 | beppesh | 42% | 43 |
| #14 | Rex | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | 13 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Rex | 10 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | beppesh | 9 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | kraa | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Raseptimus Prime | 7 | 0.0235 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | 222 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pomppi | 222 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪ Simphohou | 210 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | dinmammaglad | 124 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | beppesh | 105 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rolf | +5.19 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | dinmammaglad | +3.83 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | Luggi | +2.28 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | 𓆩Åꞩꞩᵯⱥꞥ𓆪 | +1.76 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | kraa | +1.27 | 57 | 47 |





