








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 237 | 11% |
| Smokes | 790 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 612 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 569 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $172,989 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muhfuckinuuuuuuuhhh | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Mem | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | MemKing | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | sp4rx | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Mique17 | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sp4rx | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Mique17 | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | &IEM | 51% | 39 |
| #7 | Coole kikker | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | Mique10 | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | &IEM | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Mique10 | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Mique17 | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | MemKing | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | muhfuckinuuuuuuuhhh | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | &IEM | 110 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mique10 | 95 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mique17 | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | MemKing | 62 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Coole kikker | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muhfuckinuuuuuuuhhh | +3.85 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | MemKing | +1.81 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | sp4rx | +1.67 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | Mique17 | +1.23 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Mique10 | +1.17 | 68 | 64 |





