










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2085 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1644 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1989 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1781 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,301 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | yoon | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | sammyS | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | iNFeRNO | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | »S!lver« | 34% | 29 |
| #11 | DerH4x3r | 30% | 10 |





