








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2445 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1980 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2239 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1464 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $418,741 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Mauli. | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | DerH4x3r | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Canneh | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | h1p | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Lulu | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cubex | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | easyYyYyY^m$ | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | sammyS | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | iSo | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | h1p | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cubex | 387 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | iSo | 166 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Canneh | 144 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | »S!lver« | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | h1p | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | easyYyYyY^m$ | +6.86 | 90 | 45 |
| #2 | h1p | +6.43 | 90 | 52 |
| #3 | -Mauli. | +2.77 | 96 | 49 |
| #4 | b1rd | +1.31 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | Canneh | +1.23 | 72 | 70 |





