










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7078 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3468 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5136 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3971 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,192 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IZONEFOREVER2046 | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | SAMJ | 66% | 169 |
| #3 | Ess&yHit | 64% | 39 |
| #4 | KM.HuGo | 59% | 254 |
| #5 | 神父 | 58% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 新界柳應廷 | 18 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Ha*KING*Ha | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | 神父 | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | KM.HuGo | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | SAMJ | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 新界柳應廷 | 909 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #2 | KM.HuGo | 807 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | 神父 | 695 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | SAMJ | 685 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #5 | Ha*KING*Ha | 536 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAMJ | +3.40 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | 🅼🅸🅽🅶⚡._.+ | +1.39 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Longsanity | +1.14 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | 神父 | +1.02 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | Ha*KING*Ha | +0.94 | 75 | 52 |





