








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1084 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 273 matches | ||
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6049 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2404 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3567 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2868 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $997,422 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamster. | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | Ess&yHit | 73% | 33 |
| #3 | zzdEv | 72% | 46 |
| #4 | η₯ηΆ | 69% | 170 |
| #5 | IZONEFOREVER2046 | 67% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KM.HuGo | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Longsanity | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Ha*KING*Ha | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | back1ight | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | π
Όπ
Έπ
½π
Άβ‘._.+ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KM.HuGo | 928 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | Longsanity | 700 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | η₯ηΆ | 677 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | Ha*KING*Ha | 395 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Zhengzhou Aquaman | 316 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAMJ | +3.74 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | εζͺΈθΆθ΅°ηε°ε° | +2.25 | 69 | 45 |
| #3 | zzdEv | +1.68 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | Longsanity | +1.16 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | η₯ηΆ | +0.83 | 68 | 61 |





