








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6250 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5142 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4190 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2411 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,374,832 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 650 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emokid2008 | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | tompsuz | 51% | 53 |
| #3 | Samka | サムカ | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | legobatmankid2010 | 47% | 172 |
| #5 | aIbertito | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | legobatmankid2010 | 47% | 172 |
| #5 | aIbertito | 44% | 27 |
| #6 | musculaR | 43% | 67 |
| #7 | MrCockLover | 40% | 55 |
| #8 | hARKIMO | 38% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | legobatmankid2010 | 52 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | hARKIMO | 27 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | musculaR | 13 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | MrCockLover | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | emokid2008 | 7 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | legobatmankid2010 | 558 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | musculaR | 412 | 0.31 | 11 min |
| #3 | MrCockLover | 161 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | tompsuz | 153 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | emokid2008 | 150 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aIbertito | +3.99 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | MrCockLover | +2.44 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | emokid2008 | +1.61 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | musculaR | +1.35 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | Lihis | +0.38 | 86 | 68 |





