








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Esplay | 28 matches | 2,269 | |
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1487 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1250 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 800 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $532,562 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AliBond | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Chouby | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | Shadow Eagle | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | NoMercy^ | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | ✪ Lynge | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ Lynge | 61% | 36 |
| #6 | Ismo♡ | 59% | 17 |
| #7 | HenryG | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Kenned | 55% | 20 |
| #9 | JF- | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoMercy^ | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | JF- | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ✪ Lynge | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Kenned | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Chouby | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JF- | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kenned | 61 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ Lynge | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | HenryG | 47 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shadow Eagle | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JBOEN | +4.99 | 97 | 63 |
| #2 | AliBond | +2.13 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | Shadow Eagle | +1.90 | 89 | 57 |
| #4 | Chouby | +1.32 | 81 | 44 |
| #5 | NoMercy^ | -0.43 | 81 | 49 |





