








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 859 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 652 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4933 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5047 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4229 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4352 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,735,130 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruby Da Cherry | 53% | 47 |
| #2 | Bad Gones | 52% | 147 |
| #3 | B0лK | 52% | 112 |
| #4 | JBOEN | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | lucy | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulbat | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | sporkler | 10 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Ken0bi_ | 8 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | B0лK | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Chouby | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | η9pe (: | 492 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | HenryG | 371 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Bad Gones | 285 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | lucy | 275 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #5 | NudeL | 263 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JBOEN | +3.69 | 96 | 64 |
| #2 | AliBond | +2.45 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | Ken0bi_ | +1.18 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | B0лK | +0.95 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | Chouby | +0.79 | 82 | 49 |





