








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 426 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4084 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5692 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3976 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5456 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,504,587 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 850 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snort rack get wack | 80% | 35 |
| #2 | 5th dan blackbelt driller | 67% | 244 |
| #3 | ch1ppyyy | 65% | 40 |
| #4 | Tommy Egan | 62% | 82 |
| #5 | Lilith Wild Emu, Violent Peck | 61% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lilith Wild Emu, Violent Peck | +6.25 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | 5th dan blackbelt driller | +3.08 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | real1Tyroneous | +2.93 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | snort rack get wack | +1.73 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | Tommy Egan | +1.27 | 79 | 59 |





