








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 86 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3191 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3054 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3704 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2883 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,497,651 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 513 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Epic114 | 53% | 109 |
| #2 | Teej | 53% | 126 |
| #3 | BUSCH | 52% | 260 |
| #4 | tmelks | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | A Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Taco | 48% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BUSCH | 52% | 260 |
| #4 | tmelks | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | A Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Taco | 48% | 157 |
| #6 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 48% | 259 |
| #7 | Febreze Air Effects | 28% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 76 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | A Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Taco | 36 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | BUSCH | 34 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Teej | 23 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Mr.Epic114 | 9 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUSCH | 645 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 454 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mr.Epic114 | 356 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | tmelks | 186 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Teej | 170 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BUSCH | +2.76 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Mr.Epic114 | +0.72 | 57 | 57 |
| #3 | tmelks | +0.69 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | DogFighterDavid1956 | +0.22 | 69 | 52 |
| #5 | Max Keeble | +0.16 | 64 | 53 |





