








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2569 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2038 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2312 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1904 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,118 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swayzao-RSF | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | sixfoot4 | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | Mr.Epic114 | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | Zralok26 | 61% | 36 |
| #5 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 58% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 58% | 66 |
| #6 | Ach1lles | 55% | 116 |
| #7 | caustic | 53% | 57 |
| #8 | Max Keeble | 52% | 48 |
| #9 | A Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Taco | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DogFighterDavid1956 | 20 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | caustic | 13 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | A Scrum-Diddly-Umptious Taco | 8 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | Ach1lles | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Mr.Epic114 | 5 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ach1lles | 541 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | caustic | 155 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr.Epic114 | 146 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zralok26 | 111 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Max Keeble | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swayzao-RSF | +3.87 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | sixfoot4 | +3.18 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | Ach1lles | +2.36 | 80 | 74 |
| #4 | caustic | +1.83 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | Mr.Epic114 | +1.09 | 58 | 58 |





