








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4274 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4067 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2385 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2815 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,796 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙋 𝙧 1 𝙘 𝙠 𝙇 𝙮 𝙮 𝙮 ™ | 87% | 23 |
| #2 | DarkLegacy | 84% | 19 |
| #3 | s1lver | 70% | 54 |
| #4 | Twitch JorjiCS | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | ☢GaMMa☢ | 62% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ☢GaMMa☢ | 62% | 26 |
| #6 | Lvbster | 60% | 35 |
| #7 | FL0rest | 55% | 47 |
| #8 | p4ntiez | 50% | 80 |
| #9 | NOT A SMURF | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FL0rest | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Twitch JorjiCS | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | s1lver | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ☢GaMMa☢ | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FL0rest | 226 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | p4ntiez | 225 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | 𝙋 𝙧 1 𝙘 𝙠 𝙇 𝙮 𝙮 𝙮 ™ | 132 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | NOT A SMURF | 116 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lvbster | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙋 𝙧 1 𝙘 𝙠 𝙇 𝙮 𝙮 𝙮 ™ | +5.24 | 89 | 71 |
| #2 | Lvbster | +4.36 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | s1lver | +1.79 | 66 | 48 |
| #4 | ☢GaMMa☢ | +1.62 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | nashc | +1.40 | 82 | 75 |





