








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1519 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 519 matches | ||
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10566 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6258 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5955 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6463 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,426,803 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢GaMMa☢ | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | nashc | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | NOT A SMURF | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | Twitch JorjiCS | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | p4ntiez | 51% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nashc | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | NOT A SMURF | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | Twitch JorjiCS | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | p4ntiez | 51% | 214 |
| #6 | Fac3mask™ | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch JorjiCS | 16 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | p4ntiez | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | NOT A SMURF | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Fac3mask™ | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | nashc | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4ntiez | 710 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | NOT A SMURF | 319 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | nashc | 232 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Twitch JorjiCS | 155 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fac3mask™ | 130 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nashc | +1.95 | 84 | 78 |
| #2 | FL0rest | +0.72 | 60 | 63 |
| #3 | p4ntiez | +0.68 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | ☢GaMMa☢ | +0.39 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Twitch JorjiCS | +0.36 | 65 | 48 |





