








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 974 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 551 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4331 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6587 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4259 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4654 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,836,745 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hi | 81% | 32 |
| #2 | Cloudy Beast | 67% | 83 |
| #3 | vlam | 64% | 42 |
| #4 | eTo | 64% | 55 |
| #5 | p4ntiez | 62% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ℕ𝕚ℙ𝟛𝕩™_TTV | 56% | 61 |
| #9 | quicky | 55% | 38 |
| #10 | Sλibo⊤ ☯ | 55% | 40 |
| #11 | sukram | 50% | 32 |
| #12 | NOT A SMURF | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BushKnifeBobby | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | ℕ𝕚ℙ𝟛𝕩™_TTV | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | eTo | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | FL0rest | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | quicky | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BushKnifeBobby | 486 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | Cloudy Beast | 254 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | FL0rest | 235 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | p4ntiez | 192 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | NOT A SMURF | 178 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hi | +5.80 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | Cloudy Beast | +2.38 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | sukram | +1.98 | 94 | 64 |
| #4 | ☢GaMMa☢ | +1.47 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | quicky | +1.28 | 73 | 53 |





