








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1045 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12829 | 25% |
| Smokes | 14302 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 14525 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 9580 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,196,285 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carl | 57% | 137 |
| #2 | ValorantIsBetter | 46% | 78 |
| #3 | bbombadi | 43% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carl | 57% | 137 |
| #2 | ValorantIsBetter | 46% | 78 |
| #3 | bbombadi | 43% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ValorantIsBetter | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | bbombadi | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Carl | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bbombadi | 287 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Carl | 226 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | ValorantIsBetter | 150 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ValorantIsBetter | +1.60 | 70 | 46 |
| #2 | BIGSAM-S-J-L | +0.48 | 53 | 69 |
| #3 | bbombadi | +0.47 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | Carl | -2.93 | 29 | 61 |





