








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1525 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1822 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2106 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1442 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,692 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chukhna | 54% | 110 |
| #2 | CruNk. | 53% | 57 |
| #3 | maVe | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | ✪ DNS~ | 49% | 152 |
| #5 | vozER -♿- | 48% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ DNS~ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | vozER -♿- | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | whdbst | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | CruNk. | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | chukhna | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ DNS~ | 513 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | vozER -♿- | 402 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | whdbst | 202 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | chukhna | 160 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | KanervA | 154 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vladimir Jesus Tarzan | +3.62 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | KanervA | +3.05 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | CruNk. | +2.40 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | chukhna | +1.46 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | ✪ DNS~ | +1.39 | 78 | 68 |





