








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1404 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2085 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2133 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 872 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,308 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rustikusぷ | 51% | 59 |
| #2 | Gaui_Svice | 45% | 209 |
| #3 | Helloyello | 45% | 117 |
| #4 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | 44% | 94 |
| #5 | Smokes | 41% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Smokes | 41% | 189 |
| #6 | The Trashman | 40% | 109 |
| #7 | ✪Shaviz | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | Sjéra | 39% | 77 |
| #9 | 椎名真白 | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helloyello | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Gaui_Svice | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Sjéra | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Rustikusぷ | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | The Trashman | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Trashman | 386 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Helloyello | 360 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Gaui_Svice | 228 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | 207 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sjéra | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 椎名真白 | +6.23 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | Rustikusぷ | +2.01 | 39 | 56 |
| #3 | The Trashman | +1.57 | 60 | 75 |
| #4 | Sjéra | +0.83 | 49 | 50 |
| #5 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | +0.67 | 46 | 63 |





