








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 223 matches | 1,862 | |
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5745 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5553 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4170 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4242 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,984,784 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 914 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy ☕ | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | [EWA] ÜßЗЯ | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Legreid | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | bearJ | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | MrTeddyBear | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [EWA] ÜßЗЯ | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Legreid | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | bearJ | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | MrTeddyBear | 50% | 30 |
| #6 | DEINIEL #7 | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEINIEL #7 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Andy ☕ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | [EWA] ÜßЗЯ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bearJ | 217 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Andy ☕ | 143 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | DEINIEL #7 | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Legreid | 88 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | MrTeddyBear | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy ☕ | +2.80 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | Fubbu | +0.48 | 65 | 70 |
| #3 | [EWA] ÜßЗЯ | +0.16 | 58 | 75 |
| #4 | MrTeddyBear | -0.01 | 54 | 70 |
| #5 | DEINIEL #7 | -0.03 | 68 | 55 |





