








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5525 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4751 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4007 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3845 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,870 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 611 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADEODATUS | 85% | 26 |
| #2 | sh1ze | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | Melereint | 68% | 161 |
| #4 | freaky goblin | 67% | 134 |
| #5 | Waldee | 65% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ✩Maša | 59% | 225 |
| #9 | melas77 | 59% | 41 |
| #10 | generalele | 58% | 107 |
| #11 | Žaly22 | 57% | 21 |
| #12 | PARABELLUMΩ | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✩Maša | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | freaky goblin | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | generalele | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Melereint | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ADEODATUS | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melereint | 588 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | ✩Maša | 459 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | freaky goblin | 437 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | generalele | 150 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | wrr | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADEODATUS | +3.05 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | fyksenxd | +2.85 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | Melereint | +2.82 | 94 | 69 |
| #4 | Waldee | +1.87 | 82 | 75 |
| #5 | freaky goblin | +1.74 | 81 | 60 |





