








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 178 | 10% |
| Smokes | 734 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 561 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 273 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,053 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoNoYes | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Playing With no Brain | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | bogs ✓ | 46% | 102 |
| #4 | Ron | 44% | 94 |
| #5 | get_mid | 42% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoNoYes | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Playing With no Brain | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | bogs ✓ | 46% | 102 |
| #4 | Ron | 44% | 94 |
| #5 | get_mid | 42% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bogs ✓ | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | get_mid | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bogs ✓ | 384 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | get_mid | 165 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ron | 139 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Playing With no Brain | 26 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | NoNoYes | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bogs ✓ | +3.62 | 66 | 67 |
| #2 | Playing With no Brain | -0.69 | 70 | 42 |
| #3 | NoNoYes | -0.99 | 53 | 55 |
| #4 | Ron | -1.17 | 46 | 60 |
| #5 | get_mid | -1.24 | 54 | 37 |





