








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2323 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2773 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2251 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2404 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,557,621 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkLord | 56% | 54 |
| #2 | Madara | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Caschi | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Ic∑Ωlator | 52% | 210 |
| #5 | Knuffelbär | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | TheCuke | 45% | 20 |
| #13 | Sugar | 42% | 86 |
| #14 | Lio | 40% | 20 |
| #15 | A.C.E | 40% | 25 |
| #16 | Tiscal | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ic∑Ωlator | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | GodServer.exe | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | heyitsmark | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Gramm.S | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Lio | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkLord | 207 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ic∑Ωlator | 178 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | TheCuke | 144 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #4 | ropsu | 140 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | CheeseBreeze | 131 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ropsu | +2.26 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | Ic∑Ωlator | +1.73 | 71 | 48 |
| #3 | Knuffelbär | +1.28 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | Caschi | +0.89 | 82 | 72 |
| #5 | GodServer.exe | +0.26 | 66 | 53 |





