








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 826 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1439 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2590 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2747 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1759 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,076,990 of utility $316 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caschi | 62% | 60 |
| #2 | ropsu | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | GodServer.exe | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | DarkLord | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | clix | 57% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Julius | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | clix | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | GodServer.exe | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | CheeseBreeze | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | QNNN | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Julius | 439 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | DarkLord | 265 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | clix | 209 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Caschi | 179 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Knuffelbär | 139 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ic∑Ωlator | +1.50 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | Knuffelbär | +1.24 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | ropsu | +1.02 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | Caschi | +0.89 | 83 | 68 |
| #5 | clix | +0.75 | 72 | 49 |





