








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2402 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2353 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1435 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2013 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,100,433 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kane McCrum | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | garbo | 65% | 68 |
| #3 | Chrisper | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | chopstixZ | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | brown | 52% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nugget | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | lach | 50% | 123 |
| #8 | Gamer Craig | 49% | 59 |
| #9 | waterhouse gamer | 47% | 59 |
| #10 | tangle | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lach | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | waterhouse gamer | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | chopstixZ | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | brown | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | garbo | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer Craig | 232 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | brown | 206 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | lach | 156 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | waterhouse gamer | 99 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | tangle | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kush krazy | +3.40 | 65 | 47 |
| #2 | Chrisper | +1.27 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | chopstixZ | -0.56 | 52 | 42 |
| #4 | tangle | -0.58 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | lach | -0.64 | 72 | 60 |





