








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 907 | 27% |
| Smokes | 896 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 757 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 799 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,832 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ihmispitsa | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Cass | 61% | 71 |
| #3 | Johannes9222 | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | lerpahdus | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | sleQuu | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Johannes9222 | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | lerpahdus | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | sleQuu | 49% | 65 |
| #6 | Oskujxhhi | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | cELE | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johannes9222 | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Cass | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Oskujxhhi | 2 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | sleQuu | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | lerpahdus | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cass | 379 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | Johannes9222 | 154 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | sleQuu | 148 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Oskujxhhi | 33 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | ihmispitsa | 32 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oskujxhhi | +3.73 | 81 | 76 |
| #2 | teemu | +2.84 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | cELE | +1.41 | 51 | 75 |
| #4 | Johannes9222 | +0.40 | 68 | 71 |
| #5 | lerpahdus | +0.39 | 87 | 63 |





