








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 360 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2662 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3619 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3368 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2605 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,389,489 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterSchmusig | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | b1oN | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | jimboawpbob99 | 54% | 121 |
| #4 | Force™ | 50% | 107 |
| #5 | Rescha | 50% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rescha | 50% | 140 |
| #6 | 失败是成功之母 | 49% | 69 |
| #7 | Sexygamer93 | 49% | 240 |
| #8 | n0éL the UNprofessional | 45% | 209 |
| #9 | Yolo MacSwaginator | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0éL the UNprofessional | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Rescha | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | 失败是成功之母 | 9 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Sexygamer93 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | jimboawpbob99 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0éL the UNprofessional | 1129 | 0.25 | 30 min |
| #2 | Sexygamer93 | 598 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | Rescha | 451 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Force™ | 230 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | b1oN | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterSchmusig | +2.35 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | n0éL the UNprofessional | +1.72 | 42 | 70 |
| #3 | Sexygamer93 | +1.62 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Force™ | +0.84 | 50 | 59 |
| #5 | b1oN | -0.04 | 58 | 57 |





