








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5825 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4230 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3531 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3745 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,259 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reddy | 83% | 24 |
| #2 | kevf | 77% | 30 |
| #3 | Soul | 76% | 42 |
| #4 | ShiG[J] | 68% | 293 |
| #5 | de_wally | 67% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Boostey | 67% | 134 |
| #8 | fraz | 67% | 24 |
| #9 | M i n c h e r z | 67% | 81 |
| #10 | arf | 65% | 131 |
| #11 | Eski | 61% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kees | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ShiG[J] | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | arf | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | M i n c h e r z | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Boostey | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kees | 744 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | arf | 371 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | ShiG[J] | 261 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | Boostey | 166 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | M i n c h e r z | 160 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jase | +5.15 | 89 | 81 |
| #2 | ShiG[J] | +1.09 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | arf | +0.72 | 69 | 74 |
| #4 | Boostey | +0.03 | 73 | 46 |
| #5 | kees | -0.47 | 75 | 63 |





