








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4952 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4274 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5244 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3628 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,002,055 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 543 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jase | 67% | 81 |
| #2 | Boostey | 58% | 180 |
| #3 | 𝔹𝕀𝔾 ℂℍ𝕀𝔼𝔽 | 57% | 49 |
| #4 | ShiG[J] | 55% | 305 |
| #5 | kees | 55% | 285 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | #Kingy | 47% | 60 |
| #13 | Soul | 46% | 37 |
| #14 | Eski | 46% | 61 |
| #15 | Snodz | 44% | 34 |
| #16 | Arkky | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kees | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ShiG[J] | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | howl | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | arf | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Boostey | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kees | 774 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | howl | 590 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | Jase | 489 | 0.29 | 15 min |
| #4 | arf | 331 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | ShiG[J] | 266 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snodz | +5.38 | 96 | 40 |
| #2 | Jase | +5.12 | 90 | 82 |
| #3 | howl | +3.20 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | ShiG[J] | +1.60 | 74 | 73 |
| #5 | arf | +1.45 | 69 | 74 |





