








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1561 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2234 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2416 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2100 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,531 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jase | 67% | 61 |
| #2 | Boostey | 58% | 122 |
| #3 | kevf | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Bios | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Soul | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | M i n c h e r z | 54% | 37 |
| #9 | kees | 53% | 185 |
| #10 | arf | 51% | 108 |
| #11 | Eski | 41% | 37 |
| #12 | Sheer | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShiG[J] | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | kees | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Boostey | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | arf | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | M i n c h e r z | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kees | 540 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | Jase | 399 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #3 | arf | 316 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | ShiG[J] | 229 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | Boostey | 174 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jase | +5.27 | 88 | 79 |
| #2 | ShiG[J] | +1.14 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | M i n c h e r z | +0.82 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | arf | +0.65 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | Boostey | +0.62 | 79 | 51 |





