








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3402 | 56% |
| Smokes | 1743 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 632 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 275 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,135 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayツ | 351 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | InvertedAdvent | 322 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | DrewTheNord gmn.gg | 130 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | MLGPlayer2005 | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Señor Bell | 72 | 0.16 | 1 min |





