








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 668 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1351 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2677 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2335 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1962 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,774,661 of utility $282 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prnd | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | bRUTUS | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | implicit | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | kuidemæn | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | oj_monsta | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | JuJa | 43% | 47 |
| #16 | DimEEE | 42% | 31 |
| #17 | skutsi +rep | 40% | 25 |
| #18 | ipurnauju | 37% | 35 |
| #19 | Grazziella | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuidemæn | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Valio Play Maitokaakao | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | oj_monsta | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | skutsi +rep | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | sasu123 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRR#17 | 342 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kytis (t.tv/ogkytis) | 184 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | sasu123 | 181 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | kuidemæn | 165 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | nZ | 149 | 0.08 | 4 min |





