








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1902 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1965 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1848 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1239 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $805,689 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImRaccoonISwear | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | JuJa | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | implicit | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | nZ | 55% | 75 |
| #5 | sasu123 | 52% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | skutsi +rep | 42% | 26 |
| #12 | Machokommando | 38% | 13 |
| #13 | Grazziella | 35% | 17 |
| #14 | kuidemæn | 33% | 18 |
| #15 | Swagalee | 25% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRR#17 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Swagalee | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | BuQi | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | JuJa | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | oj_monsta | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRR#17 | 260 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | sasu123 | 126 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | BuQi | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | nZ | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | oj_monsta | 99 | 0.15 | 3 min |





