








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Faceit | 238 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5573 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4631 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3942 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2729 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,591,010 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | KRR#17 | 48% | 62 |
| #12 | Foxeriino | 45% | 64 |
| #13 | BuQi | 43% | 47 |
| #14 | Bird | 39% | 44 |
| #15 | Nipe | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sasu123 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | kuidemæn | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | KRR#17 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | BuQi | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | pikku-e | 2 | 0.0023 |





