








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15 | 3% |
| Smokes | 156 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 70 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 233 | 49% |
Our logs show you have wasted $154,578 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Scheibo | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | NetZwerg211 [GER] | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Torrul | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Jiriki | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Jagarion | 14% | 7 |
| #17 | Das Krokodil | 13% | 8 |
| #18 | SuperDuperDaria | 9% | 11 |
| #19 | Ren3 # Ger | 0% | 3 |
| #20 | Fatsch | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lizec | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | SuperDuperDaria | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kay ツ | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Jagarion | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Lizec | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Das Krokodil | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | SuperDuperDaria | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | +13.70 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | Das Krokodil | +6.72 | 57 | 57 |
| #3 | kay ツ | +4.40 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | Styx | +4.15 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Angel of Nightmare | +2.12 | 43 | 40 |





