








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3605 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2476 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2395 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3493 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,319,454 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | baltz^ | 49% | 61 |
| #7 | LewisD2K | 49% | 292 |
| #8 | GnL | 48% | 27 |
| #9 | TouF | 48% | 156 |
| #10 | ☯ A ı ƒ A ı R ☯ | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xT | 21 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | TouF | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | joshiño #LPEE | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | LewisD2K | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | kAwax | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xT | 3201 | 0.43 | 83 min |
| #2 | LewisD2K | 965 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #3 | kAwax | 849 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #4 | TouF | 720 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #5 | baltz^ | 253 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GnL | +1.60 | 73 | 79 |
| #2 | kAwax | +0.83 | 58 | 62 |
| #3 | baltz^ | +0.77 | 74 | 66 |
| #4 | D2K | +0.66 | 60 | 74 |
| #5 | LewisD2K | +0.55 | 63 | 72 |





